Sunday, May 06, 2012

Hopes dashed, slightly up again.

I have now logged hours pouring over profiles of children who might possibly become ours. So many beautiful young faces, completely oblivious that their picture is viewed hundreds of times by longing parents-to-be. I wonder how they will feel 10, 15 years from now when they're told (if they are), "honey I knew it was meant to be the moment I saw your face online, just like when I saw your father's profile on e harmony." :)


To use the biological child analogy, this is very much akin to being "late." Unfortunately, so far each child that would be great from the tiny details that I am give have been matched with a family by the time I hear back from various agencies. This feels very similar to the negative pregnancy test. Another month, another round of pictures, more hope. 


Our documents have now returned from the Consulate in Chicago and we are told, ready to go to her country this week. That stage of "DTC," or dossier to country, would be very exciting indeed if we hadn't been informed that for now, our agency is not matching families with this specific country. We do not know how long this will be on hold. It could be another week or months. This roadblock seems particularly unfair and I cannot shake the sorrow. I think the gray weather and endless Bon Iver on Pandora is NOT helping. 

If you read this and are the praying kind, we ask for your prayers. 


In the meantime, we play and soak in spring





1 comment:

Abbey von Gohren said...

Oh my dear. I ache with you and I AM praying.

(Try Sara Groves instead of Bon Iver, at least on gloomy days. She has a new EP Invisible Empires that's partially free online. Gut-level honest and tasty.)